No wonder CAA wants to talk about sports thes…

No wonder CAA wants to talk about sports these days. (Surely you saw that they’ve hired another three warm bodies, this time execs, to run CAA Sports division and David Beckham.) Maybe because they don’t want to talk about the Oscars. That’s right, things are not going that well for CAA in the motion picture literary department. Think about it. They hired a bunch of motion picture lit agents over the past 24 months to bolster their aging list of screenwriters and directors. And they spent north of $20 mil to do it. But CAA winds up crushed in the writer/director category this Oscar season by Endeavor — which is only 1/3 of CAA’s size. With a little luck, Peyton Manning or Rex Grossman are secretly scribbling a script.

OSCAR TALLY (Major Categories Only)
Acting: CAA 7 Endeavor 2 ICM 0 UTA 0 WMA 3

Filmmaking: CAA 7 Endeavor 13 ICM 5 UTA 2 WMA 2
———————————————————————————

TOTAL: CAA 14 Endeavor 15 ICM 5 UTA 2 WMA 5

No wonder CAA wants to talk about sports these days. (Surely you saw that they’ve hired another three warm bodies, this time execs, to run CAA Sports division and David Beckham.) Maybe because they don’t want to talk about the Oscars. That’s right, things are not going that well for CAA in the motion picture literary department. Think about it. They hired a bunch of motion picture lit agents over the past 24 months to bolster their aging list of screenwriters and directors. And they spent north of $20 mil to do it. But CAA winds up crushed in the writer/director category this Oscar season by Endeavor — which is only 1/3 of CAA’s size. With a little luck, Peyton Manning or Rex Grossman are secretly scribbling a script.

OSCAR TALLY (Major Categories Only)
Acting: CAA 7 Endeavor 2 ICM 0 UTA 0 WMA 3

Filmmaking: CAA 7 Endeavor 13 ICM 5 UTA 2 WMA 2
———————————————————————————

TOTAL: CAA 14 Endeavor 15 ICM 5 UTA 2 WMA 5

As of today, CAA has relocated to its intimidating…

As of today, CAA has relocated to its intimidating new Century City headquarters (pictured above; we’ve Photoshopped out the ominously swirling, lightning-belching hellcloud the firm’s partners had installed in the sky directly above the structure to remind the entire city of where the seat of industry evil is located, because we don’t want to scare the children), finally forsaking the lesser agency chop-shops that clot Beverly Hills. And just one day into CAA’s tenancy, longtime residents of the once-sleepy community are already watching their quaint little neighborhood be overrun by the pushy, Armani-attired hordes who will soon control The CC.

Everywhere you look there is another anxious bulky CAA agent in a three piece suit. Kevin Huvane walked in with a pack of eager wannabees and literally held a conference by the sushi counter before leading the charge to Panda Express. It was a nightmare. My once innocent Century City hideaway has now been taken over!

Indeed, it’s all unfolding exactly as we pictured it back in June; those who once enjoyed the mall’s food court should just concede CAA’s culinary Anschluss and save themselves a lot of pain. In the end, Kevin Huvane and company will strategically dominate all the best tables by the Panda Express (or the sushi joint, or that Brazilian place, should a Bryan Lourd feel kicky and demand churrascaria), even if it means assigning an around-the-clock detail of assistants to permanent seat-saving duty and polluting the dining area air with the constant chatter of calls being remotely rolled from their newest agency outpost.

As of today, CAA has relocated to its intimidating new Century City headquarters (pictured above; we’ve Photoshopped out the ominously swirling, lightning-belching hellcloud the firm’s partners had installed in the sky directly above the structure to remind the entire city of where the seat of industry evil is located, because we don’t want to scare the children), finally forsaking the lesser agency chop-shops that clot Beverly Hills. And just one day into CAA’s tenancy, longtime residents of the once-sleepy community are already watching their quaint little neighborhood be overrun by the pushy, Armani-attired hordes who will soon control The CC.

Everywhere you look there is another anxious bulky CAA agent in a three piece suit. Kevin Huvane walked in with a pack of eager wannabees and literally held a conference by the sushi counter before leading the charge to Panda Express. It was a nightmare. My once innocent Century City hideaway has now been taken over!

Indeed, it’s all unfolding exactly as we pictured it back in June; those who once enjoyed the mall’s food court should just concede CAA’s culinary Anschluss and save themselves a lot of pain. In the end, Kevin Huvane and company will strategically dominate all the best tables by the Panda Express (or the sushi joint, or that Brazilian place, should a Bryan Lourd feel kicky and demand churrascaria), even if it means assigning an around-the-clock detail of assistants to permanent seat-saving duty and polluting the dining area air with the constant chatter of calls being remotely rolled from their newest agency outpost.